Generation Lost

We're a closed off generation- a generation motivated by so-called strength and power, repulsed by weakness and emotions. We drive ourselves on pent up frustration masked behind false exteriors; our lives are governed by passive-aggression, weak impulse control abilities and an array of unresolved conflicts. But why? Is it weak of us to experience pain and anxiety? Does it make us less "legit"? Do hiding, denying our truths and regressing from our true selves make us better human beings? The answers to all these questions are, obviously, subjective; but in my time of observing those around me- friends, coworkers, family members etc- I cannot help but notice that the trend of projecting certain cemented carvings of oneself to others is just part of the norm.

We are slowly but surely forgetting the importance of feeling, of living in the moment with our emotions, of being able to identify how we feel- often, in response to the notorious "How do you feel?" you're more likely to receive an "I don't know" or "I'm great!" rather than that specific adjective you're looking for. We've become to used to the pretentious facades that we desperately try to uphold in social situations that we've forgotten what it's like to feel...to hurt, to despair, to be weak, to be elated- to be in touch with ourselves. It's rather sad. I, myself am a victim of this malice, unfortunately. But who can we blame? It's not as if we conspired with each other to create this virus.

Really?

 I'm not too sure about that. Humans are selfish beings- we are the center of our respective universes. No one is allowed to enter beyond a certain a locus-  something that we should respect about one another- it's the legitimate privacy that someone should be endowed with. However, at the other end of the spectrum lies the child within us- the aspect of our self which seeks to expose and express itself honestly and freely. It is this part of ourselves that we fear to let other people see.

Our frailty is, now, thought of as something that other people can't handle- afterall, everyone is too submerged in their own selfish needs and desires to want to accept added baggage on their shoulders. Thus, in response, we tend to mask ourselves- we want to be the heroes- the Batman's and the Superman's and the Wonderwoman's of the world- so much so, that we forget that it's okay to be weak once in a while. It's okay to sit down, cry and think about everything that has gone wrong in our lives. It's okay to miss someone you're not "supposed" to miss. It's okay to tell someone that you're going to miss them after they leave. It's okay to hug someone when you feel like it. None of the above (and other things) make us weaker human beings- in effect, they just prove that, at the end of the day, we're just humans. We're meant to feel. We're supposed to feel that anxious knot in our stomachs when something bad happens. We're supposed to cry when someone hurts us. We're supposed to sweat and palpitate when in danger. We're supposed to smile and laugh when we're happy about something. There's no point in trying to hide it, to mask it, to not act upon a feeling if you feel it coming- someday or the other, it IS going to come out- in one way or the other. Why wait?

What we need now, in today's messed up robotic world, is a release, an expansion of one's locus of interest and a greater endeavor to feel ourselves and reach that self-actualising potential that is impatiently waiting to be discovered within each and every one of us. 

Case #1

X is a 20 year old female who had been married off when she was about to give her last matric examination. According to her mother, who I had earlier mistaken to be her elder sister, explains how X used to be a lively, clever and intelligent girl before fights in her in laws' family broke out. Her husband began receiving death threats from their neighbors due to a fight with X's brother in law. The first time that her husband was threatened, her mother reports that X fell to the ground while conscious. Ever since then, X's mental health has deteriorated profusely. What initially began with disorganized affect (anger outbursts, crying spells, irritation and high levels of aggression), slight insomnia and lower productivity levels has now blossomed into a complete inability to do anything more than sit in one place all day and stare off into space. Her mother and grandmother report that she often talks to herself, refuses to eat (vomits if forced to eat) and communicate with others, has begun urinating without control, takes off her clothes in inappropriate surroundings, does not know her own name when asked (gives some other name), and breaks into bursts of screaming (yells out her husbands name). She does not show any signs of physical mobility. It was reported that she had to be physically hauled out of the rickshaw she was brought to the hospital in this morning.


She has been sitting in front of me for the past hour and has remained in a static position all this time: eyes closed, expressionless with the back of her head resting against the wall behind her. As her grandmother asks her if she'd like to drink water, X opens her eyes momentarily but closes them again. Thus, she remains conscious but the medicines that she was given the previous day seem to have had a hypnotic effect on her. The psychiatrist next to me tries to make some sort of communication initiative by speaking to her, calling out X's name, slightly nudging her- but there is no response whatsoever.


X's mother and grandmother look dejected and disappointed as they watch X in the state that she is in. They are all that she has left since her husband and in laws chucked her out of their house. the doctor recommends immediate hospitalization in the mental health ward I am working in, so that a proper diagnosis can be laid out. for now, nothing can be said as to what X is suffering from but from the looks of it, it seems like a symptom of post traumatic stress coupled with psychotic depression.


A follow up in the coming weeks is likely to reveal more.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPhone]