There are things our hearts long to do, experience and feel. These are strong urges which often blind us from seeing reality; they sugar coat the truth that we should see and, at the end of the day, leave us high and dry wondering why we didn't know any better previously. We mourn our lack of maturity and self-control- we cry, bleed emotion and make false promises to ourselves with great vehemence to put an end to it....but to what end?
A couple of days later, we're back to square one: hurting ourselves in the same way we'd promised ourselves we wouldn't ever again; more regretful than ever.
So why don't we put an end to this emotionally-suicidal rat race we call pleasure?
We don't know it yet, but we're just waiting for the day it comes and hurts us beyond repair.
We're living a treacherous life. It's dangerous. We're just too stupid turn it around.
Friday, August 26, 2011
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Hypnotize you
"Just close your eyes let me hypnotize you; I can make your stormy feel sky blue" sounds just about perfect right now.
Her versus You
I don't speak to You very often anymore. I'm sorry. But there's something about Your Name that makes my lips crumple and my eyes bleed salt.
Or maybe its the way she hums Your Name as she tries to put me to sleep at night. I haven't heard that melody in a very long time... but I'd like to oh so badly...
I promise I'll sleep if You promise to tell her to sing to me once again...
It's been too long...
I can't always be this strong.
Or maybe its the way she hums Your Name as she tries to put me to sleep at night. I haven't heard that melody in a very long time... but I'd like to oh so badly...
I promise I'll sleep if You promise to tell her to sing to me once again...
It's been too long...
I can't always be this strong.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
For her
As it tears her apart, it brings this family together.
Who knew that this is what it would take?
Map me out, why don't you?
Maps don't represent reality, afterall. We dedicate the majority of our elementary geography classes learning how to understand and interpret them, but at the end of the day, I've come to realise that they're as baseless as anything else that has been subjectively created. We think science is our objective reality but we forget that science is a product of human intelligence, and is thus, in more ways than one, biased. There are many ways one can look at it, whether it be from a sociological, religious, historical or socio-economic perspective, but at the end of the day, some sort of criticism will remain evident.
We think we've developed as a race- we claim to have become more intellectually evolved, racially diverse, culturally accepting amongst other fallacies- but, because we are, at the end of the day we are as ethnocentric and self-serving as it comes. Maps play a big role in determing our world-view (literally). It's very unconscious and subliminal (think: Disney), but it's enough to materialise certain conceptions. Why is the north pole situated at the top of the world map and the south pole at the bottom? Why does the equator determine what is “above” and “below” it- why are some countries to it's north and others to it's south? What significance do the projected sizes of certain countries and continents have on those studying the map? Why is Europe and West Africa in the center and Australia and South America at the bottom- could there be a causal link with discrimination due to this? Is possible to get an accurate picture of the world through a map considering one has to trace 27,000 spherical miles onto a standard, flat piece of paper? These are some of the concerns many people, including myself, have had with maps such as the The Mercator projection. Some critics say that it was a convenient way for Europeans to maintain their colonial foothold with the size of their continent on a map whilst reducing the size of underdeveloped nations. It is nteresting to see that the Equator is placed 2/3 of the way down the map rather than halfway down causing Europe seeming larger than South America (which in reality is twice the size of Europe); Alaska is shown to be thrice as large as Mexico, although the latter is the larger of the two; and finally, Greenland is drawn larger than China (China is actually four times larger than Greenland).
Such faults and ethnocentric views make me question what we're being taught....and how we've subliminally accepted “universal truths”. Before this, I had never questioned the authenticity of a world map- to me it was plain science; but now that I think about it, there IS no objective reality. I can construct a map the way I'd like to project it. I could place Pakistan at it's center, magnify it's size, change it's colour to make it look more attractive- and who knows, it could be the start of a new, healthy way people perceive us as a people, culture and geographical entity. Instead, we've followed whatever that has been set down to us. Reality is how you perceive it- no one can see Earth in it's full entity even from space- you'll only ever see the half which faces you.
It's interesting to wonder and questions the smallest of things that we've been taught- conspiracy theory much?. How can set the biased away from the unbiased, the subliminal from the conscious and the good intentions from the bad? How do we set ourselves apart and try to define ourselves the same way others have done so? It angers me that the makers of these biased maps have succeeded in making the rest of the world see what they want us to see; and we, instead of actively questioning what we are being taught, internalise it instead. It makes me think of the maps which distort political boundaries between countries, for example, India and Pakistan. In most world maps, you will now find Kashmir added to the Indian boundary, leaving Pakistan with a cut out semi circle at it's northen pole. Similarly, Iraq and Kuwait fought over whether Kuwait was a part of Iraqi land due to a map laid out by Europeans in the early 1920's which had instated an erroneous border line between the two countries. Are these ways to accomplish and cover certain agendas certain agencies have in mind? Could many of our problems today be solved just by editing a stupid map that we've been staring at for innumerable centuries?
Food for thought, not just for us as individuals, but also as a nation that has been living in obscurity for much too long.
We think we've developed as a race- we claim to have become more intellectually evolved, racially diverse, culturally accepting amongst other fallacies- but, because we are, at the end of the day we are as ethnocentric and self-serving as it comes. Maps play a big role in determing our world-view (literally). It's very unconscious and subliminal (think: Disney), but it's enough to materialise certain conceptions. Why is the north pole situated at the top of the world map and the south pole at the bottom? Why does the equator determine what is “above” and “below” it- why are some countries to it's north and others to it's south? What significance do the projected sizes of certain countries and continents have on those studying the map? Why is Europe and West Africa in the center and Australia and South America at the bottom- could there be a causal link with discrimination due to this? Is possible to get an accurate picture of the world through a map considering one has to trace 27,000 spherical miles onto a standard, flat piece of paper? These are some of the concerns many people, including myself, have had with maps such as the The Mercator projection. Some critics say that it was a convenient way for Europeans to maintain their colonial foothold with the size of their continent on a map whilst reducing the size of underdeveloped nations. It is nteresting to see that the Equator is placed 2/3 of the way down the map rather than halfway down causing Europe seeming larger than South America (which in reality is twice the size of Europe); Alaska is shown to be thrice as large as Mexico, although the latter is the larger of the two; and finally, Greenland is drawn larger than China (China is actually four times larger than Greenland).
Such faults and ethnocentric views make me question what we're being taught....and how we've subliminally accepted “universal truths”. Before this, I had never questioned the authenticity of a world map- to me it was plain science; but now that I think about it, there IS no objective reality. I can construct a map the way I'd like to project it. I could place Pakistan at it's center, magnify it's size, change it's colour to make it look more attractive- and who knows, it could be the start of a new, healthy way people perceive us as a people, culture and geographical entity. Instead, we've followed whatever that has been set down to us. Reality is how you perceive it- no one can see Earth in it's full entity even from space- you'll only ever see the half which faces you.
It's interesting to wonder and questions the smallest of things that we've been taught- conspiracy theory much?. How can set the biased away from the unbiased, the subliminal from the conscious and the good intentions from the bad? How do we set ourselves apart and try to define ourselves the same way others have done so? It angers me that the makers of these biased maps have succeeded in making the rest of the world see what they want us to see; and we, instead of actively questioning what we are being taught, internalise it instead. It makes me think of the maps which distort political boundaries between countries, for example, India and Pakistan. In most world maps, you will now find Kashmir added to the Indian boundary, leaving Pakistan with a cut out semi circle at it's northen pole. Similarly, Iraq and Kuwait fought over whether Kuwait was a part of Iraqi land due to a map laid out by Europeans in the early 1920's which had instated an erroneous border line between the two countries. Are these ways to accomplish and cover certain agendas certain agencies have in mind? Could many of our problems today be solved just by editing a stupid map that we've been staring at for innumerable centuries?
Food for thought, not just for us as individuals, but also as a nation that has been living in obscurity for much too long.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
What.....?
As the rain pours down battering us down shitless, I look up towards the sky- it's pretty mad at me. It knows what I've done...what I do..and what I will probably continue doing. It's beautiful- there's an absence of fear in my soul somehow. I remember it being there once upon a time not so long ago. I remember the feeling of taboo as I used to look around me. Things didn't seem right. But now, as I stare up into the sky, I can only feel grandiose and super. But I'm a new convert. A newbie. A novice. An amateur. Things don't always settle well initially, they say. So as I challenge what's up above me, the remnants of my innocence attempt to expel some sort of sense of shame into my blood stream.
Weak Nausea.
It goes away.
The rain continues to fall, the skies light up, their anger focused on my vehemence.
The child has blossomed into a black rose of some sort. I feel a slight sense of remorse but it's weak enough to dissipate soon. The rain feels good. So does this new way of life. So do the decisions I make.
I've won. Or lost.
What do I know?
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Somewhere in the United States
Why can't you want me like the other boys do?
They stare at me while I.....crave you.
They stare at me while I.....crave you.
Friday, August 12, 2011
Generation Lost
We're a closed off generation- a generation motivated by so-called strength and power, repulsed by weakness and emotions. We drive ourselves on pent up frustration masked behind false exteriors; our lives are governed by passive-aggression, weak impulse control abilities and an array of unresolved conflicts. But why? Is it weak of us to experience pain and anxiety? Does it make us less "legit"? Do hiding, denying our truths and regressing from our true selves make us better human beings? The answers to all these questions are, obviously, subjective; but in my time of observing those around me- friends, coworkers, family members etc- I cannot help but notice that the trend of projecting certain cemented carvings of oneself to others is just part of the norm.
We are slowly but surely forgetting the importance of feeling, of living in the moment with our emotions, of being able to identify how we feel- often, in response to the notorious "How do you feel?" you're more likely to receive an "I don't know" or "I'm great!" rather than that specific adjective you're looking for. We've become to used to the pretentious facades that we desperately try to uphold in social situations that we've forgotten what it's like to feel...to hurt, to despair, to be weak, to be elated- to be in touch with ourselves. It's rather sad. I, myself am a victim of this malice, unfortunately. But who can we blame? It's not as if we conspired with each other to create this virus.
Really?
I'm not too sure about that. Humans are selfish beings- we are the center of our respective universes. No one is allowed to enter beyond a certain a locus- something that we should respect about one another- it's the legitimate privacy that someone should be endowed with. However, at the other end of the spectrum lies the child within us- the aspect of our self which seeks to expose and express itself honestly and freely. It is this part of ourselves that we fear to let other people see.
Our frailty is, now, thought of as something that other people can't handle- afterall, everyone is too submerged in their own selfish needs and desires to want to accept added baggage on their shoulders. Thus, in response, we tend to mask ourselves- we want to be the heroes- the Batman's and the Superman's and the Wonderwoman's of the world- so much so, that we forget that it's okay to be weak once in a while. It's okay to sit down, cry and think about everything that has gone wrong in our lives. It's okay to miss someone you're not "supposed" to miss. It's okay to tell someone that you're going to miss them after they leave. It's okay to hug someone when you feel like it. None of the above (and other things) make us weaker human beings- in effect, they just prove that, at the end of the day, we're just humans. We're meant to feel. We're supposed to feel that anxious knot in our stomachs when something bad happens. We're supposed to cry when someone hurts us. We're supposed to sweat and palpitate when in danger. We're supposed to smile and laugh when we're happy about something. There's no point in trying to hide it, to mask it, to not act upon a feeling if you feel it coming- someday or the other, it IS going to come out- in one way or the other. Why wait?
What we need now, in today's messed up robotic world, is a release, an expansion of one's locus of interest and a greater endeavor to feel ourselves and reach that self-actualising potential that is impatiently waiting to be discovered within each and every one of us.
We are slowly but surely forgetting the importance of feeling, of living in the moment with our emotions, of being able to identify how we feel- often, in response to the notorious "How do you feel?" you're more likely to receive an "I don't know" or "I'm great!" rather than that specific adjective you're looking for. We've become to used to the pretentious facades that we desperately try to uphold in social situations that we've forgotten what it's like to feel...to hurt, to despair, to be weak, to be elated- to be in touch with ourselves. It's rather sad. I, myself am a victim of this malice, unfortunately. But who can we blame? It's not as if we conspired with each other to create this virus.
Really?
I'm not too sure about that. Humans are selfish beings- we are the center of our respective universes. No one is allowed to enter beyond a certain a locus- something that we should respect about one another- it's the legitimate privacy that someone should be endowed with. However, at the other end of the spectrum lies the child within us- the aspect of our self which seeks to expose and express itself honestly and freely. It is this part of ourselves that we fear to let other people see.
Our frailty is, now, thought of as something that other people can't handle- afterall, everyone is too submerged in their own selfish needs and desires to want to accept added baggage on their shoulders. Thus, in response, we tend to mask ourselves- we want to be the heroes- the Batman's and the Superman's and the Wonderwoman's of the world- so much so, that we forget that it's okay to be weak once in a while. It's okay to sit down, cry and think about everything that has gone wrong in our lives. It's okay to miss someone you're not "supposed" to miss. It's okay to tell someone that you're going to miss them after they leave. It's okay to hug someone when you feel like it. None of the above (and other things) make us weaker human beings- in effect, they just prove that, at the end of the day, we're just humans. We're meant to feel. We're supposed to feel that anxious knot in our stomachs when something bad happens. We're supposed to cry when someone hurts us. We're supposed to sweat and palpitate when in danger. We're supposed to smile and laugh when we're happy about something. There's no point in trying to hide it, to mask it, to not act upon a feeling if you feel it coming- someday or the other, it IS going to come out- in one way or the other. Why wait?
What we need now, in today's messed up robotic world, is a release, an expansion of one's locus of interest and a greater endeavor to feel ourselves and reach that self-actualising potential that is impatiently waiting to be discovered within each and every one of us.
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