What.....?

As the rain pours down battering us down shitless, I look up towards the sky- it's pretty mad at me. It knows what I've done...what I do..and what I will probably continue doing. It's beautiful- there's an absence of fear in my soul somehow. I remember it being there once upon a time not so long ago. I remember the feeling of taboo as I used to look around me. Things didn't seem right. But now, as I stare up into the sky, I can only feel grandiose and super. But I'm a new convert. A newbie. A novice. An amateur. Things don't always settle well initially, they say. So as I challenge what's up above me, the remnants of my innocence attempt to expel some sort of sense of shame into my blood stream.


Weak Nausea.


It goes away.

The rain continues to fall, the skies light up, their anger focused on my vehemence.

The child has blossomed into a black rose of some sort. I feel a slight sense of remorse but it's weak enough to dissipate soon. The rain feels good. So does this new way of life. So do the decisions I make.

I've won. Or lost.


What do I know?