I was going through Psychology Today and chanced upon this beautiful article that I'd like to share:
A long time ago, in the middle of a great countryside, there was a village terrorized by a dragon. A young knight came to its rescue, charging the dragon on his trusted steed. But before he could even get close, the creature merely yawned a fiery yawn and incinerated the poor lad. Then, a more experienced knight, equally fearless, approached the dragon. Using a fine, sturdy sword, he attempted to slay it. But, no matter how hard he swung that sword, it simply bounced off the dragon's scales. The dragon smashed this knight with his mighty tail. Knights from kingdoms far and wide came to demonstrate their courage and strength. They attacked with all manner of weapons - spears, battle-axes, cross-bows, and catapults. But every one lost his life to this great beast. Finally, one day, there appeared a stranger in the village. He was a bit worn down by life and carried no weapons, but he walked with a quiet strength. He asked the townspeople all about the dragon and went to observe it himself. Then, with an intense focus, he slowly - but unhaltingly - approached. And, when the awesome monster opened its mouth - apparently to spit fire - the man simply walked right inside and sat down in the belly of the great beast. After a blast of heat and some angry roars, the dragon disappeared in a puff - leaving the seated man.
I was recently reminded of this tale, which that I had read many years ago (so, more accurately, this is my memory of the tale). What made me think of it was watching a number of patients struggle with being terribly distressed, and wanting desperately out of their current situations. What's that got to do with dragons?
The tale suggests that you should do what you fear most - sit in the belly of your personal monster. That is, develop an inner calmness and strength so that you can sit with your emotions, thoughts, and beliefs.
You might be asking; How could this possibly help? The answer is based in the idea that your emotional distress (or failure to be the person you'd like to be) probably results from your being alienated from yourself. You don't want to feel hurt, so you pretend not to care; that is, until you are overcome by a tsunami of hurt. In an attempt to lose weight, you try to ignore your hunger; but are eventually compelled by an insatiable monster that demands to be fed.
The best way to respond to these experiences isn't to try harder or to pretend that your struggles don't exist. Instead, you must accept your distress; enter into that painful inner landscape, and walk through it.
By doing this, your compulsion to avoid those painful parts of your experience will no longer drive you from yourself. You will learn to tolerate them. And then you will learn to accept them. When you accept your emotions or experiences, no matter how painful or difficult they are, you also more fully accept yourself. You may be sad or angry or lonely; or something else; but once accepted, those experiences will feel 'right,' much as grief - even though it is painful - feels right when you have lost someone you love. In accepting your emotions, you are sitting in the belly of the beast.
Not only does achieving this self-acceptance mean that you can then feel better about yourself, but it is also empowering. It allows you to figure out whether there really is a problem beyond your merely cowering from your emotions. If there is, it enables you to look at it more clearly; and gives you the chance to approach it in a more confident, effective way.
You may wonder how you can learn to accept your emotions when they can be so upsetting and overwhelming. And, this is a good question. Some common ways are with personal journaling, meditation, mindfulnesspractices, and therapy. But just knowing that you need to accept all of your experiences is an important step in itself - because if you are not convinced of its importance, you probably will just continue trying to fight or deny unwanted experiences - a goal doomed to fail.
The tale suggests that you should do what you fear most - sit in the belly of your personal monster. That is, develop an inner calmness and strength so that you can sit with your emotions, thoughts, and beliefs.
You might be asking; How could this possibly help? The answer is based in the idea that your emotional distress (or failure to be the person you'd like to be) probably results from your being alienated from yourself. You don't want to feel hurt, so you pretend not to care; that is, until you are overcome by a tsunami of hurt. In an attempt to lose weight, you try to ignore your hunger; but are eventually compelled by an insatiable monster that demands to be fed.
The best way to respond to these experiences isn't to try harder or to pretend that your struggles don't exist. Instead, you must accept your distress; enter into that painful inner landscape, and walk through it.
By doing this, your compulsion to avoid those painful parts of your experience will no longer drive you from yourself. You will learn to tolerate them. And then you will learn to accept them. When you accept your emotions or experiences, no matter how painful or difficult they are, you also more fully accept yourself. You may be sad or angry or lonely; or something else; but once accepted, those experiences will feel 'right,' much as grief - even though it is painful - feels right when you have lost someone you love. In accepting your emotions, you are sitting in the belly of the beast.
Not only does achieving this self-acceptance mean that you can then feel better about yourself, but it is also empowering. It allows you to figure out whether there really is a problem beyond your merely cowering from your emotions. If there is, it enables you to look at it more clearly; and gives you the chance to approach it in a more confident, effective way.
You may wonder how you can learn to accept your emotions when they can be so upsetting and overwhelming. And, this is a good question. Some common ways are with personal journaling, meditation, mindfulnesspractices, and therapy. But just knowing that you need to accept all of your experiences is an important step in itself - because if you are not convinced of its importance, you probably will just continue trying to fight or deny unwanted experiences - a goal doomed to fail.
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